Love, Life, Meaning Over
by Grapely
Summary: Jasper Hale & Alice Cullen are unconditionally in love. They were meant for each and what they have cannot be described. A life without each other cannot exist. Or can it? Jasper has been struggling & will leave with Peter & Charlotte. What will Alice do?


Summary: Jasper Hale & Alice Cullen are unconditionally in love. They were meant for each and what they have cannot be described. A life without each other cannot exist. Or can it? Jasper has been struggling with his newfound Vegetarian lifestyle with the Cullens. Every day he sees his family strengthen, even his Newborn sister Bella, and he struggles every single day. He has decided to join Peter & Charlotte. What will Alice do when she finds out? Will she stick by the love of her existence no matter what?

**Disclaimer: This is a FanFic of the Twilight Saga, written by Stephenie Meyer. Unless otherwise specified, none of the characters belong to me.**

Author's Note: I started writing this in 2009 and left it after Chapter 10 because I just had no desire to finish it. For whatever reason, and I think it has to do with seeing Breaking Dawn Part 1, I now want to complete this story. After reading through this, I have cringed at some of my writing and cannot write a new chapter until I have edited the current ones! So that is what I am doing now. Hopefully it won't be long until I write Chapter 11 and hopefully you will all like it. Thank you to everyone who has still been reading my story years after I abandoned it.

Chapter 1: Goodbye

"Bella, when are you going to get used to this? Seriously, it should be second nature to you now."

Bella and I are getting ready for our first day at a new high school. Even as a vampire, Bella is still hopeless in the beauty and fashion department. That's where I come in! She's kind of like my own Barbie doll, but so much more. She's my sister and my best friend and none of us could live without her. I would say especially not Edward, but then he would be all smug about winning. We've had a few fun arguments about who loves Bella more. It's me, Edward.

"Alice, I will never get used to this. You know I don't like it, and yet you continue to torture me!" Bella points at her shadowed eyes as I laugh.

Bella had changed in obvious ways, but in the important ways, she hadn't changed at all. She may not be clumsy anymore and it's impossible for her to blush, which Emmett was so upset about, but there are other things that only we notice. Like when she bites her lip every time she's embarrassed. And of course she still hates it when we make a fuss over her.

"I'm almost done Bella, _stop_ moving!"

"Will you girls hurry up? We can't be late on our first day." Emmett says from downstairs.

We decided to move to Alaska, close to Tanya's family. It was time to move on from Forks as everyone else was getting older and we weren't. But it wasn't easy. Jacob tried everything he could to make us stay because he couldn't be away from Renesmee. But even he knew that it wasn't possible for us to hang around in Forks any longer. He agreed that we could move as long as he could visit very often. Charlie was also upset to see us go, but Bella promised frequent visits.

"Ok, you're all done. You are going to be the hottest girl in school!" I say proudly.

A hiss comes from a room on the top floor. Rosalie. She knows that she is drop dead gorgeous, but she still needs to be reassured. A lot. I don't know how Emmett can do it day in and day out. He must have to admire her on the hour every hour.

"Shut up, Rosalie." Edward snaps.

"Alice, I'm nervous." There's Bella's lip bite.

Edward and Jasper are by Bella's side in a split second. Edward wraps his arms around Bella's waist and kisses her on the forehead. Jasper relieves her of all the nerves and makes her feel serene and calm. He's so caring and clever, I love him so much!

"I'm not nervous about _that_." Bella says to Jasper, "I'm nervous about going to a new school like this and how everyone is going to react. Being... different."

"Just ignore them, I do." Edward explains, "Humans have an instinct to stay away from us and will believe that we are strange and nothing more. Well... _most_ humans."

Bella was never an ordinary human. When Edward did everything he could to keep her away, she moved closer and closer. Nothing he could do or say could scare her. It was true love. I know we were destined to be sisters!

"Let's go." Jasper takes my hand and we all run to the cars, saying goodbye to Carlisle, Esme and Renesmee on our way. Renesmee is sad that we're going to school without her. She desperately wants to go to school and be normal, but we all know that's impossible. People would know that she is very different. She would be a Grade 1 girl with the knowledge of a College student. Esme is homeschooling her instead.

Now that there are 6 of us, we can't all fit into Edward's Volvo. So he and Bella drive to school together and the four of us go in a new car we recently purchased, a Black Range Rover. We can't go to high school in Alaska in my Porsche or Rosalie's BMW. It's too... what does Edward say? Conspicuous? Emmett's Jeep won't do either as people will notice that we don't freeze driving in an open car through snow. Jasper loves it, and he looks great behind the wheel too. He didn't have a car of his own since there was no need for it. So this one is officially his. Now we each have our own car!

Once I'm seated in the front seat, I do a quick look into the future to check if there is any danger with Bella, or with any of us. It seems like a normal day at high school for us. Bella is going to be fine around all the human kids. There will be no problem what so ever!

"Everything's fine! This is going to be a good day." I reassure Jasper.

He seems pleased with this, but I know him better. He's thinking of his first day at high school as a Vampire. I needed to check the future every 5 minutes as his resistance waivered. He doesn't like that he's having so much trouble adjusting after all this time and Bella had no trouble turning her thirst off from the scent of humans on her first day as a New Born.

The day goes by quite quickly. Everyone acts towards us as was expected. They keep their distance and don't bother us. They gasp at our appearance and wonder who we are. Nothing more than that and the gossip dies down by lunch time. We know the work, nothing is new to us. Except maybe to Bella, but she has us there to give her the answers.

Later on I'm looking into the future at my schedule for the rest of that week. Everything seems normal. High school for the next four days, Edward playing his piano, me designing some new dresses, which is always fun, Esme planning the cottage she will build Edward, Bella & Renesmee, and Jasper...

I gasp at the vision.

"What is he doing?" Edward asks. Edward can read minds, except for Bella's, and can see whatever visions I see if he's around.

"I... I don't know. I don't understand." I try to find some reason for it, something in the background that I could've missed, anything except what I already know.

"Alice? What did you see?" Jasper asks, suddenly by my side and holding my hand.

I'm not sure whether to tell Jasper the vision I saw or not. Maybe if I don't tell him, he won't think about it and the future will change. I have to hold on to that hope, it's all I can do.

"Emmett finally wins a wrestling match against Bella, that's all." I lie.

"Sweet! When?" Of course that makes Emmett happy. He has been trying almost every day to beat Bella. She is still stronger than him because of her New Born strength. We all know it won't last though.

"I don't know... that's not clear yet. Hey, Edward, are you ready to go hunting?" I need to get Edward alone and far enough away from everyone so we can talk without them hearing.

We run south and don't stop running until we're out of hearing range and know that we weren't followed.

We stop and turn to face each other. For the first time in centuries I... I'm speechless. I don't know what to say or where to begin. Neither does Edward. We just look at each other, until my knees give way and I collapse to the ground.

Edward appears by my side and holds me into his chest, like the protective big brother he is. If Vampires could cry, I would be sobbing. But instead, I make sob like noises that almost mimic the real thing.

"How can he do this to me, Edward? How can he leave me? I thought he loved me." I feel a lump rise in my throat.

"He does love you, Alice. More than anything and anyone in the world." Edward tries to comfort me by rubbing his hand against my back, but my whole body is starting to go numb.

"Then why is he going to leave? He's not going to ask me to go with him. He's not even going to say... goodbye." I stumble for a millisecond on the last word, which is only noticeable to our kind.

"Because I don't want you to leave your family. I know if I ask you to come with me, you will. You'll give up everything for me and I cannot have that." Jasper comes out from his hiding spot behind a tree.

"Why are you leaving in the first place?" I stand up and run to him. I hold his hands as tight as I can so that he can't go anywhere. I'm so scared of letting go.

"I'm not coping Alice. You know that. Look at Bella, she has no trouble at all fitting into this lifestyle, and here I am still trying to stop myself from killing humans. This is not the lifestyle for me." Despite my best efforts, Jasper frees one hand from mine so he can brush his fingertips along my cheekbone. They leave a trail of warmth that makes me even more desperate for him.

We all knew that Jasper was struggling worse than any of us ever did, but our whole family was like his own personal cheerleading troupe. I have always believed him and I have always been there for him. I'm the only person who has seen him at his strongest and also at his weakness. Actually, maybe not the only one. There is Mari—That's not the point. Yes, he is struggling, but he is better than he was when he first started. He is!

"Bella is an exceptional case. We are all shocked at her restraint. We all had trouble when we first started. All of us." I plead.

"I can't Alice. I just... can't. Peter and Charlotte have offered for me to join them. I leave tonight." Jasper says.

Peter and Charlotte. I always knew there was a reason why I didn't like them. I had some gut instinct that told me they weren't to be trusted. Now I wish I had acted on that instinct and made sure my family stayed away from them. How could they take Jasper away from me and offer his old lifestyle back to him?

"Please Jasper. Don't go, don't leave me. I love you." I beg.

"I love you too. I love you so much that I have to do this. You are the reason that I am still living and that I even tried for so long to live like this. I don't know how I am going to continue without you, but... I will never, ever forget you."

I could feel my insides shattering into tiny glass shards. A hand grips my dead heart and yanks it out of my body and I watch it crumple to dust. I cannot lose him. I iwon't/i lose him.

"I'll come with you. We can both visit our family regularly. I'll do anything for you."

"I know that. Which is why you can't come." His eyes feel cold and distant as they look into mine. I used to find comfort in those eyes, but now I want to look away. The only problem is that I'm afraid he will be gone if I do look away, and so will my memory of him.

"I can't live without you." I whisper.

"Yes, you can. I know you can. You will see." Jasper wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tight. He studies my face like as if he's memorising it. He draws in a deep breath and I notice that he is sobbing too.

"You are the best thing to ever happen to me. But I need you to live. I need you to be happy for me, for you and for our family. Keep going as you are, you are amazing. Bella needs you, Esme needs you."

"But I need _you_." I cry.

"I know. We will be together again soon, I promise." He squeezes me tighter as he makes the promise.

Then he kisses me passionately and with one last look, he runs away.

"Oh God." I collapse to the ground again.

I can't move. I can't think. All hope is lost. My life is... nothing. Empty. Just like that night centuries ago when I woke to find myself alone in darkness. I can't go on without him, there is no way. I can already feel the warmth from his touch and the impressions he made on my skin start to fade. I try to hold onto them for as long as I can when I see a vision. It's of Jasper, he's leaving me a letter on our dresser.

"Let's go." Edward says as he pulls me up.

We run as fast as we possibly can. I run straight past my waiting family to our bedroom. They don't know anything since Jasper left without saying goodbye to them as well.

As my vision showed me, a letter is waiting for me on our dresser. I rip the envelope open and read it to myself.

_My beautiful Alice,_

_I am so sorry._

_I will forever regret the pain my actions have caused you. I do wish there was another way, but I am not coping. I cannot keep putting our family through this, or you. You have done so much for me, but now it's time for you to live for yourself. I wish there could be another solution, but it is not possible._

_I know you better than anyone and I know how strong you are. You're the strongest person I know. Certainly stronger than me. You can continue without me. You have so much love and support from our family. Listen to them, they will help you when I cannot._

_You are the only one I can ever love and my heart will always belong to you. No one can take away what we have and I will never take you or our love for granted. No fate is cruel when I have you in my life. Know that a second will never pass when I do not think of you. You are my everything._

_When I am ready, I will come back to you. No matter where in the world you are, I will find you. And we will be reunited, forever._

_My still heart is broken and will never be complete without you._

_I love you more than words can express._

_Be strong. Be beautiful. Be Alice._

_Love Always & Forever,_

_Jasper_

Esme is the first to be by my side. Edward read the letter aloud as he saw it in my mind.

"What am I going to do Esme? How am I going to get through this?" I sob.

"I promise it will be okay. We'll all get through this together." She wraps her arms around my side and kisses the side of my head through my hair. It helps, but it's not the same as being held by Jasper. Nothing can be the same as that.


End file.
